The new Fantastic Four will feature “Doctor Doom” as the villain.  As in an angry blogger whose handle is Doom, rather than the actual metal-encased ruler of Latervia.

Congrats on making your reboot somehow worse than your previous FF venture, Fox.  I can’t even be outraged, really.  I honestly don’t remember whether or not I saw the first movie; if I did, it made less of an impact than any other film I’ve seen in the last decade.  I did go to see the second one because my friend bought the ticket, but sadly (well, I wasn’t really enthused to be honest), the projector/projectionist/poorly managed theater couldn’t make the film work two minutes past the previews, so I missed out on that as well.

I’m not too invested either way.  I like the FF, but mostly in the Kirby era comics.  In the eighties, before trades were a thing, Marvel made some collections (by year, IIRC) of their gold/silver/bronze age titles.  I have a great memory of being 8 and choosing to read library copies of the first few years of FF instead of watching cartoons one Saturday- for that age and time, that was a big fucking deal.  And of all the comics I’ve followed since, I’ve never really cared much for the more recent storylines of Richards et.al.; they seemed to fit well in the silver age universe.  Beyond that that didn’t age well by comparison.  In a universe with multitudes of superheroes and mutants and cosmic powers, being a space-accident dysfunctional family with a shiny flying car and a tower seems quaint by comparison.  And if your tiny European nation doesn’t register on google earth, is it really even there?  And why the fuck haven’t the Latervians ever revolted against their leader for spending all his time making evil plans instead of running his own damned country?

Mostly I’m just amused that Doom will be reimagined as last month’s news topic.  If we’re going contemporary the story might need a little upheaval, but it certainly deserves more thought.  What will Angry Blogger Von Doom do to cement his place in the hall of bad guys?  Force toddlers into beauty pageants? Will he spread Ebola?  Perhaps he’ll unite the anti-vaxxers and the MRAs into an army of stupid.  Maybe an armed assault on the Canadian Parliament.  Only time and really bad executive decisions will tell.


About ducksarebitches

I'm a painter, a drummer, a student, and currently unemployed. I also appreciate cats and a bit of light debauchery, but not at the same time or for the same reasons.
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