Ladies, FYI.

The Huffington Post had this article about one comedian’s NYC subway posters.  If you don’t want to bother with the link, they’re a series of posters stating, “Don’t be a fucking asshole/idiot- [this particular behavior] is shitty”.

And that’s awesome- first because I’m all for using curse words in public places, and second because at some point we as humans need to rejuvenate some discourse on public politeness.  My pet peeve is shitty cellphone behaviors (like walking up or down stairs at a snail’s pace because you’re texting), but there are other nuisances that could be addressed.

Anyhow, I was pleased to read the article, until I got to the comments.  These two in particular, right at the top:

“What about men that insist on sitting with their legs wide open? I doubt your package is that large.” – ginas13

“I’m with you on the guys that feel the need to spread eagle when they sit. Exactly! Its like really you have that much going on between your legs, total jerk offs every single one of them.  -sklu

My first thought is that yes, some guys do sit as though they’re trying to get as far away from their feet as possible.  And then I thought about sitting on those hard plastic bus seats and how little room there is once you’ve got a regular sized person on either side of you, let alone my usual circumstance of being the center of a grossly obese sandwich.  Ladies: as a whole you know just as little about our junk as we do about yours.  Chairs?  Not fucking designed with testicles in mind.  We adjust, and most of us do it so you don’t notice.  Even in tighty whities, those objects do not stay in one place.  It has nothing to do with size, and an awful lot to do with bunches of blood vessels and nerves becoming twisted and streched and squished into extremely uncomfortable positions.  Nevermind the fact that clearly these two posters are concerned with the size of someone’s package.

Oh, and by the way…grunting at the gym?  Lifting heavy things does, in fact, tighten the stomach and push the diaphragm up.  Which expels air from the lungs.  I’m not saying some men don’t exaggerate, but I am saying not everyone doing curls wants your attention.


About ducksarebitches

I'm a painter, a drummer, a student, and currently unemployed. I also appreciate cats and a bit of light debauchery, but not at the same time or for the same reasons.
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