I suppose this is the day bloggers post their resolutions for the new year.
Well, fuck that. The only resolution I’ve made since I was a kid was to not make resolutions, and I’ve managed to keep it every year. In lieu of some cliched bullshit, here’s my musical wishlist for next year.
Stop using autotune. I hate hate hate pitch shifted vocals. I hate when they’re used to make up for shitty singing, and I hate them when they’re used as a gimmick. T-Pain, that’s you. For chrissake- if you can’t sing, don’t.
More imperfect recordings. If it’s not a live performance (and, often, even if it is), the recording will be digitally “perfected”, usually because it can be. I want some damned recording sessions where everyone is playing at the same time, in the same place. Maybe someone is almost off time, or slightly out of tune, or there’s some banter going on before the track.. and just leave that stuff in. And don’t give me that “but it’s bad” bullshit. Perfection is sterile and disappointing and, as it turns out, very generic.
R.E.M.’s next album. Every album since Hi-Fi has been more or less meh. Sure, there have been some okay songs, but very few that stuck. I’ve been wondering for 15 years if it’s the absence of Bill Berry or if it’s just age; if the next one doesn’t work for me I’m not gonna hold my breath anymore.
Oh hey, can we go see some music? I can count the shows I’ve been to in the last year on one hand, if you don’t count the ones I’ve played. I dunno if the local stuff just doesn’t do much for me anymore, but there’s definitely a time+money issue. Hopefully I’ll get some of both, or enough to remedy this problem.
But what about non-local stuff? Yes! There’s a whole host of music I’d like to see live, but none of it’s coming to Buster’s at the moment. Out of the 10 or so bands on my to-see wishlist who are touring, the closest most of them are coming is Ohio. The Rev’s coming to Louisville, but it’s still a hassle to get out there. Four or five years ago there were plenty of shows close enough to get to; I don’t know if that was just a lucky spell, or if touring is just too expensive to hit smaller places, or what, but I’d like to see that kind of activity again.
Less electronic music. It’s a personal taste, but I can’t stand it. Especially remixes. And very especially remixes of songs that were shit to begin with. Has anyone even gone to a rave this decade?
Poptrash. Britney Spears was barely relevant ten years ago; why can’t she just stay crazy and holed up in her house? And take whoever the fuck Ke$ha is. I know, it’s an old complaint. But I’ll accept that there will always be bubblegum pop, and tiger-beat teenagers, and some amount of crap that the kids will be embarrassed to have listened to when they’re 25. But can we have a quieter year? Can American Idol go on hiatus for a while? I just need my ears to remember what it feels like to not be constantly filled with audial vomit.
Where are the ladies? Where are the Cyndi Laupers and the Tanya Donellys and the Exene Cervenkas and the Siouxsies? Surely they can’t be all fronting bands whose goal is to have a track on the next shitty twilight soundtrack. And can we get a female Hendrix/Page/[insert your favorite epic guitarist]-caliber lead guitarist? Please?
I think that’s enough to cover it for now. Hopefully next year I’ll be listening to something instead of writing in silence.